Saturday 12th of April 2008
A chap is fishing and hooks a salmon, he reels it in and is just going to kill it for his dinner when the salmon looks at him and says "Hey mate, don't kill me, I'm only a baby, I haven't swum the 7 seas yet, Gis a chance pal".
The man looks at the salmon "You can talk"?
"Course I can, go on put me back, there's much bigger fish under the bridge".
"All right", says the man,"I'll put you back, what's your name"?
"Rusty" says the salmon,"And yours"?
"Dave".
He puts the fish back in the water and resolves to say nothing of this to anyone, fearing that he'll become a laughing stock.
About ten years later he's fishing in the same spot and he hooks a monster. It takes him two hours to land it. He looks at it and pictures it on his dinner plate. Just then the salmon opens one eye and looks at him "Dave, is that you"?
"Rusty, I don't believe it, it must be 10 years since I let you go, what you been doing"?
"well Dave, I've had a fantastic time, I've swum the seven seas and all the oceans. In fact, I've just come across the Atlantic, but I was really disturbed".
"Why's that Rusty"?
"Well, I was half way across and a voice told me to swim deeper, so I did, deeper and deeper and I found this huge shipwreck. I counted 4 funnels, it felt like death so I had to leave".
"Wow rusty, that was the Titanic it sank and almost all on board were drowned".
"Ah, I knew it, in fact, I was so upset I had to sit down and write a poem about it" said Rusty.
"A poem, don't talk daft, you're just a fish, how can you write a poem, that's rubbish".
"No Dave, really, it's available in all bookshops now".
"Ok" says Dave, "so what's it called then"?
"Salmon Rustys titanic verses".
Didn't you believe me?
source: http://johns-jokes.com
A very fishy groaner to beat them all
A chap is fishing and hooks a salmon, he reels it in and is just going to kill it for his dinner when the salmon looks at him and says "Hey mate, don't kill me, I'm only a baby, I haven't swum the 7 seas yet, Gis a chance pal".
The man looks at the salmon "You can talk"?
"Course I can, go on put me back, there's much bigger fish under the bridge".
"All right", says the man,"I'll put you back, what's your name"?
"Rusty" says the salmon,"And yours"?
"Dave".
He puts the fish back in the water and resolves to say nothing of this to anyone, fearing that he'll become a laughing stock.
About ten years later he's fishing in the same spot and he hooks a monster. It takes him two hours to land it. He looks at it and pictures it on his dinner plate. Just then the salmon opens one eye and looks at him "Dave, is that you"?
"Rusty, I don't believe it, it must be 10 years since I let you go, what you been doing"?
"well Dave, I've had a fantastic time, I've swum the seven seas and all the oceans. In fact, I've just come across the Atlantic, but I was really disturbed".
"Why's that Rusty"?
"Well, I was half way across and a voice told me to swim deeper, so I did, deeper and deeper and I found this huge shipwreck. I counted 4 funnels, it felt like death so I had to leave".
"Wow rusty, that was the Titanic it sank and almost all on board were drowned".
"Ah, I knew it, in fact, I was so upset I had to sit down and write a poem about it" said Rusty.
"A poem, don't talk daft, you're just a fish, how can you write a poem, that's rubbish".
"No Dave, really, it's available in all bookshops now".
"Ok" says Dave, "so what's it called then"?
"Salmon Rustys titanic verses".
Didn't you believe me?
source: http://johns-jokes.com
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Humor to bust a gut with our funny, Obama, Yo Mama, Redneck, lawyer, animal, sports, relationship jokes which are all funny, clean or some that are dirty and a bit close to the mark!
Carlos Ray Chuck Norris, Paddy the Irishman jokes and more hilarious laughter all found at Johns- Jokes.com
Funny faces, pictures, animal images, for yourself and friends, to smile and laugh at them all! Ideal for folks without Life Insurance!
We do not tell Dirty, offensive and rude jokes but you can! 'even good for adults and youngsters suffering Acne :)
Our Comedy Sketches, Knock Knock jokes make for hilarious laughter, Wicked wit, short stories, crazy quotes, and strive to have a broad range and nothing too dirty!