Monday 14th of February 2005
The first people in the country to have double glazing were the Aberdonians so their kids couldn't hear the ice cream vans.
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How many Aberdonians does it take to change a light bulb?
Och! it's no that dark.
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Have you heard about the lecherous Aberdonian who lured a girl up to his attic to see his etchings?
He sold her four of them.
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An Aberdonian took a girl for a romantic ride in his taxi. She was so beautiful he could hardly keep his eye on the meter
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A very popular man dies in Aberdeen and his old widow wishes to tell all his friends at once so she goes to the Aberdeen Evening Express and says "I'd like tae place an obituary fur ma late husband"
The man at the desk says "OK, how much money dae ye have?"
The old woman replies "£5" to which the man says "You wont get many words for that but write something and we'll see if it's ok" so the old woman writes something and hands it over the counter and the man reads
"Peter Reid, fae Kincorth, deid"
He feels guilty at the abruptness of the statement and encourages the old woman to write a few more things. The old woman ponders and then adds a few more words and hand the paper over the counter again. The man then reads
"Peter Reid, fae Kincorth deid. Ford Escort for sale"
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Jock was out working the field in the vale of Tullos when a barnstormer landed.
"I'll give you an airplane ride for £50," said the pilot.
"Sorry, cannae afford it," replied Jock.
"Tell you what," said the pilot, "I'll give you and your wife a free ride but if you get scared it'll be £100."
So up they went and the pilot rolled, looped, stalled and did all he could to scare Jock. Nothing worked and the defeated pilot finally landed the plane. Turning around to the rear seat he said, "Got to hand it to you, for country folk you sure are brave!"
"Aye," said Jock "But ye nearly had me there when the wife fell oot!"
source: http://johns-jokes.com
Aberdonians
The first people in the country to have double glazing were the Aberdonians so their kids couldn't hear the ice cream vans.
************************************************************************
How many Aberdonians does it take to change a light bulb?
Och! it's no that dark.
*************************************************************************
Have you heard about the lecherous Aberdonian who lured a girl up to his attic to see his etchings?
He sold her four of them.
**************************************************************************
An Aberdonian took a girl for a romantic ride in his taxi. She was so beautiful he could hardly keep his eye on the meter
***************************************************************************
A very popular man dies in Aberdeen and his old widow wishes to tell all his friends at once so she goes to the Aberdeen Evening Express and says "I'd like tae place an obituary fur ma late husband"
The man at the desk says "OK, how much money dae ye have?"
The old woman replies "£5" to which the man says "You wont get many words for that but write something and we'll see if it's ok" so the old woman writes something and hands it over the counter and the man reads
"Peter Reid, fae Kincorth, deid"
He feels guilty at the abruptness of the statement and encourages the old woman to write a few more things. The old woman ponders and then adds a few more words and hand the paper over the counter again. The man then reads
"Peter Reid, fae Kincorth deid. Ford Escort for sale"
***************************************************************************
Jock was out working the field in the vale of Tullos when a barnstormer landed.
"I'll give you an airplane ride for £50," said the pilot.
"Sorry, cannae afford it," replied Jock.
"Tell you what," said the pilot, "I'll give you and your wife a free ride but if you get scared it'll be £100."
So up they went and the pilot rolled, looped, stalled and did all he could to scare Jock. Nothing worked and the defeated pilot finally landed the plane. Turning around to the rear seat he said, "Got to hand it to you, for country folk you sure are brave!"
"Aye," said Jock "But ye nearly had me there when the wife fell oot!"
source: http://johns-jokes.com
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Our Comedy Sketches, Knock Knock jokes make for hilarious laughter, Wicked wit, short stories, crazy quotes, and strive to have a broad range and nothing too dirty!
Find free jokes including Sex Joke of the Day, Sexist Blonde Jokes and crazy stand-up comedy jokes and Little Johnny all at Johns-Jokes.com.
Humor to bust a gut with our funny, Obama, Yo Mama, Redneck, lawyer, animal, sports, relationship jokes which are all funny, clean or some that are dirty and a bit close to the mark!
Carlos Ray Chuck Norris, Paddy the Irishman jokes and more hilarious laughter all found at Johns- Jokes.com
Funny faces, pictures, animal images, for yourself and friends, to smile and laugh at them all! Ideal for folks without Life Insurance!
We do not tell Dirty, offensive and rude jokes but you can! 'even good for adults and youngsters suffering Acne :)
Our Comedy Sketches, Knock Knock jokes make for hilarious laughter, Wicked wit, short stories, crazy quotes, and strive to have a broad range and nothing too dirty!