Thursday 16th of March 2006
The scene: HEAVEN
The year: 2031
President Clinton finishes his time on earth and approaches the Pearly Gates of Heaven.
"And who might you be?" inquires St. Peter.
"It's me, Bill Clinton, formerly the President of the United States and Leader of the Free World."
"Oh... Mr. President! What may I do for you?" asks St. Peter.
"I'd like to come in," replies Clinton.
"Sure," says the Saint, "but first you have to confess your sins. What bad things have you done in your life?"
Clinton bites his lip and answers, "Well, I tried marijuana, but you can't call it 'dope smoking' because I didn't inhale. There were inappropriate extramarital relationships, but you can't call it 'adultery' because I didn't have full 'sexual relations' And I made some statements that were misleading, but legally accurate, but you can't call it 'bearing false witness' because, as far as I know, it didn't meet the legal standard of perjury."
With that, St. Peter consults the Book of Life briefly, and declares, "OK, here's the deal. We'll send you somewhere hot, but we won't call it hel_l.' You'll be there indefinitely, but we won't call it 'eternity.' And when you enter, you don't have to 'abandon all hope,' just don't hold your breath waiting for it to freeze over.
source: http://johns-jokes.com
Bill Clinton At The Pearly Gates, Don't Hold Your Breath
The scene: HEAVEN
The year: 2031
President Clinton finishes his time on earth and approaches the Pearly Gates of Heaven.
"And who might you be?" inquires St. Peter.
"It's me, Bill Clinton, formerly the President of the United States and Leader of the Free World."
"Oh... Mr. President! What may I do for you?" asks St. Peter.
"I'd like to come in," replies Clinton.
"Sure," says the Saint, "but first you have to confess your sins. What bad things have you done in your life?"
Clinton bites his lip and answers, "Well, I tried marijuana, but you can't call it 'dope smoking' because I didn't inhale. There were inappropriate extramarital relationships, but you can't call it 'adultery' because I didn't have full 'sexual relations' And I made some statements that were misleading, but legally accurate, but you can't call it 'bearing false witness' because, as far as I know, it didn't meet the legal standard of perjury."
With that, St. Peter consults the Book of Life briefly, and declares, "OK, here's the deal. We'll send you somewhere hot, but we won't call it hel_l.' You'll be there indefinitely, but we won't call it 'eternity.' And when you enter, you don't have to 'abandon all hope,' just don't hold your breath waiting for it to freeze over.
source: http://johns-jokes.com
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Humor to bust a gut with our funny, Obama, Yo Mama, Redneck, lawyer, animal, sports, relationship jokes which are all funny, clean or some that are dirty and a bit close to the mark!
Carlos Ray Chuck Norris, Paddy the Irishman jokes and more hilarious laughter all found at Johns- Jokes.com
Funny faces, pictures, animal images, for yourself and friends, to smile and laugh at them all! Ideal for folks without Life Insurance!
We do not tell Dirty, offensive and rude jokes but you can! 'even good for adults and youngsters suffering Acne :)
Our Comedy Sketches, Knock Knock jokes make for hilarious laughter, Wicked wit, short stories, crazy quotes, and strive to have a broad range and nothing too dirty!