Thursday 10th of July 2008
* People who point at their wrist while asking for the time....I know where my watch is pal, where the f*ck is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
* People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.
* When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". F*cking right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?
* When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the f*ck would you keep looking after you've found it? Do People do this? Who and where are they?
* When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No tosser, I paid 10 quid to come to the cinema and stare at the f*cking floor.
* People who ask "Can I ask you a question?". Didn't really give me a choice there, did you sunshine?
* When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it.
* When people say "life is short". What the f*ck?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever f*cking does!! What can you do that's longer?
* When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here,Kn*bhead?
* People who say things like 'My eyes aren't what they used to be'. So what did they used to be? ears, Wellington boots?
* When you're eating something and someone asks 'Is that nice?' No it's really revolting - I always eat stuff I hate.
* People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks that's an image I really didn't need.
* McDonalds staff who pretend they don't understand you unless you insert the 'Mc' before the item you are ordering.....It's has to be a McChicken Burger, just a Chicken Burger get blank looks. Well I'll have a McStraw and jam it in your McEyes you f*cking McTosser.
source: http://johns-jokes.com
Billy Connolly's 14 things I hate about everybody
* People who point at their wrist while asking for the time....I know where my watch is pal, where the f*ck is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
* People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.
* When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". F*cking right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?
* When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the f*ck would you keep looking after you've found it? Do People do this? Who and where are they?
* When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No tosser, I paid 10 quid to come to the cinema and stare at the f*cking floor.
* People who ask "Can I ask you a question?". Didn't really give me a choice there, did you sunshine?
* When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it.
* When people say "life is short". What the f*ck?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever f*cking does!! What can you do that's longer?
* When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here,Kn*bhead?
* People who say things like 'My eyes aren't what they used to be'. So what did they used to be? ears, Wellington boots?
* When you're eating something and someone asks 'Is that nice?' No it's really revolting - I always eat stuff I hate.
* People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks that's an image I really didn't need.
* McDonalds staff who pretend they don't understand you unless you insert the 'Mc' before the item you are ordering.....It's has to be a McChicken Burger, just a Chicken Burger get blank looks. Well I'll have a McStraw and jam it in your McEyes you f*cking McTosser.
source: http://johns-jokes.com
Safety at work Forklift and two ladders
Safety at work Stepladder and a paint tin
Safety at work Stepladder on ladder
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Find free jokes including Sex Joke of the Day, Sexist Blonde Jokes and crazy stand-up comedy jokes and Little Johnny all at Johns-Jokes.com.
Humor to bust a gut with our funny, Obama, Yo Mama, Redneck, lawyer, animal, sports, relationship jokes which are all funny, clean or some that are dirty and a bit close to the mark!
Carlos Ray Chuck Norris, Paddy the Irishman jokes and more hilarious laughter all found at Johns- Jokes.com
Funny faces, pictures, animal images, for yourself and friends, to smile and laugh at them all! Ideal for folks without Life Insurance!
We do not tell Dirty, offensive and rude jokes but you can! 'even good for adults and youngsters suffering Acne :)
Our Comedy Sketches, Knock Knock jokes make for hilarious laughter, Wicked wit, short stories, crazy quotes, and strive to have a broad range and nothing too dirty!