Wednesday 28th of May 2008
A man goes to the doctor with a sore arm.
Doc says: "I haven't got time to see you, just put a urine sample in the machine in the hall".
The man does so, and the machine prints out the following:
"You have tennis elbow, bathe your arm in warm salty water and avoid strenuous exercise".
Intrigued the man decides to put the machine to the test. So he goes home and gets urine samples from his wife and daughter, adds a dog turd and then masturbates into the mixture for good measure. He returns to the doctors and puts the mixture in the machine. The machine whirls and clicks and then prints out the following:
"Your dog has worms, take it to the vet
Your daughter is using cocaine, get her into rehab'
Your wife is pregnant.
It's twins.
They aren't yours.
Find a good divorce lawyer.
And if you don't stop masturbating your tennis elbow will never get better".
source: http://johns-jokes.com
Computer diagnosis from a urine sample
A man goes to the doctor with a sore arm.
Doc says: "I haven't got time to see you, just put a urine sample in the machine in the hall".
The man does so, and the machine prints out the following:
"You have tennis elbow, bathe your arm in warm salty water and avoid strenuous exercise".
Intrigued the man decides to put the machine to the test. So he goes home and gets urine samples from his wife and daughter, adds a dog turd and then masturbates into the mixture for good measure. He returns to the doctors and puts the mixture in the machine. The machine whirls and clicks and then prints out the following:
"Your dog has worms, take it to the vet
Your daughter is using cocaine, get her into rehab'
Your wife is pregnant.
It's twins.
They aren't yours.
Find a good divorce lawyer.
And if you don't stop masturbating your tennis elbow will never get better".
source: http://johns-jokes.com
Mammogram test preparation exercises
Courtesy of the Big Yin Billy Connolly for those not in the know
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Find free jokes including Sex Joke of the Day, Sexist Blonde Jokes and crazy stand-up comedy jokes and Little Johnny all at Johns-Jokes.com.
Humor to bust a gut with our funny, Obama, Yo Mama, Redneck, lawyer, animal, sports, relationship jokes which are all funny, clean or some that are dirty and a bit close to the mark!
Carlos Ray Chuck Norris, Paddy the Irishman jokes and more hilarious laughter all found at Johns- Jokes.com
Funny faces, pictures, animal images, for yourself and friends, to smile and laugh at them all! Ideal for folks without Life Insurance!
We do not tell Dirty, offensive and rude jokes but you can! 'even good for adults and youngsters suffering Acne :)
Our Comedy Sketches, Knock Knock jokes make for hilarious laughter, Wicked wit, short stories, crazy quotes, and strive to have a broad range and nothing too dirty!