Monday 19th of December 2005
1. Since my last report, this employee has reached rock-bottom and has started to dig.
2. I would not allow this employee to breed.
3. This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definite won't be.
4. Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.
5. When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet.
6. This young lady has delusions of adequacy.
7. He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.
8. This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
9. This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts the better.
10. Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together.
11. A gross ignoramus -- 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.
12. He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier.
13. He's been working with glue too much.
14. He would argue with a signpost.
15. He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room.
16. When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell.
17. If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the other one.
18. A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.
19. A prime candidate for natural de-selection.
20. Donated his brain to science before he was done using it.
21. Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
22. He's got two brains cells, one is lost and the other is out looking for it.
23. If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.
24. If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change.
25. If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.
26. It's hard to believe he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm
27. One neuron short of a synapse.
28. Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled.
29. Takes him 2 hours to watch '60-minutes'.
30. The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.
.
source: http://johns-jokes.com
Federal Government employee performance evaluations.
1. Since my last report, this employee has reached rock-bottom and has started to dig.
2. I would not allow this employee to breed.
3. This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definite won't be.
4. Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.
5. When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet.
6. This young lady has delusions of adequacy.
7. He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.
8. This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
9. This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts the better.
10. Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together.
11. A gross ignoramus -- 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.
12. He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier.
13. He's been working with glue too much.
14. He would argue with a signpost.
15. He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room.
16. When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell.
17. If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the other one.
18. A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.
19. A prime candidate for natural de-selection.
20. Donated his brain to science before he was done using it.
21. Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
22. He's got two brains cells, one is lost and the other is out looking for it.
23. If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.
24. If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change.
25. If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.
26. It's hard to believe he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm
27. One neuron short of a synapse.
28. Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled.
29. Takes him 2 hours to watch '60-minutes'.
30. The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.
.
source: http://johns-jokes.com
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Humor to bust a gut with our funny, Obama, Yo Mama, Redneck, lawyer, animal, sports, relationship jokes which are all funny, clean or some that are dirty and a bit close to the mark!
Carlos Ray Chuck Norris, Paddy the Irishman jokes and more hilarious laughter all found at Johns- Jokes.com
Funny faces, pictures, animal images, for yourself and friends, to smile and laugh at them all! Ideal for folks without Life Insurance!
We do not tell Dirty, offensive and rude jokes but you can! 'even good for adults and youngsters suffering Acne :)
Our Comedy Sketches, Knock Knock jokes make for hilarious laughter, Wicked wit, short stories, crazy quotes, and strive to have a broad range and nothing too dirty!