Friday 20th of March 2009
Birds of a feather flock together and crap on your car.
When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are ' XL.'
The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.
There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example, I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt .
Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words 'The' and 'IRS' together it spells 'Theirs.'
The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know 'why' I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved..
When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.
Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf
Lord, Keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth.
Nicked from: http://www.prostatepointers.org/mailman/listinfo/hah
source: http://johns-jokes.com
Gentle Thoughts for Today
Birds of a feather flock together and crap on your car.
When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are ' XL.'
The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.
There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example, I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt .
Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words 'The' and 'IRS' together it spells 'Theirs.'
The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know 'why' I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved..
When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.
Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf
Lord, Keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth.
Nicked from: http://www.prostatepointers.org/mailman/listinfo/hah
source: http://johns-jokes.com
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Find free jokes including Sex Joke of the Day, Sexist Blonde Jokes and crazy stand-up comedy jokes and Little Johnny all at Johns-Jokes.com.
Humor to bust a gut with our funny, Obama, Yo Mama, Redneck, lawyer, animal, sports, relationship jokes which are all funny, clean or some that are dirty and a bit close to the mark!
Carlos Ray Chuck Norris, Paddy the Irishman jokes and more hilarious laughter all found at Johns- Jokes.com
Funny faces, pictures, animal images, for yourself and friends, to smile and laugh at them all! Ideal for folks without Life Insurance!
We do not tell Dirty, offensive and rude jokes but you can! 'even good for adults and youngsters suffering Acne :)
Our Comedy Sketches, Knock Knock jokes make for hilarious laughter, Wicked wit, short stories, crazy quotes, and strive to have a broad range and nothing too dirty!