Wednesday 18th of January 2006
one tuesday evening in september 2001 we read the orginal, then we read and giggled at a version written by Billy Connolly ... together we made up our own ... this is wot we wrote ....
Never use the words "I disagree" when what you really mean is bollocks!
Trust not any explanation that begins or ends with the word "obviously"
Disruptiveness is next to Godliness
Be respectful of all opinions, unless they're wrong, obviously
Keep your drunkenness in direct proportion to the pointlessness of the speaker
Suggest a theme for Holy Joes evening. Then ensure your absence when it occurs.
But most of all be yourself.
Never underestimate the amount of alcohol needed to facilitate intelligent conversation and go to the bar whenever you feel like it.
However nice it is inside your head try and live in the world some of the time.
If you are going to ask a question, be prepared to accept the worst possible answer.
Take a cardigan, an umbrella and a hankie, carry a toothbrush and always know where your towel is.
Split up troublemakers for their own benefit and your peace of mind.
Know the difference between product and packaging.
Give up your seat on the bus, smile at people for no reason & thank people who are just doing their job.
Always look before crossing the road and kissing people.
Never risk anything you aren't prepared to lose.
Take off your rose tinted specs, but always keep them close at hand.
Have an open mind, but not so open that everything falls out.
Keep it real.
Don't try to be better than anyone else, try to be better than what you were.
Don't order the same curry every time you go down the Indian.
If you've got a skeleton in the closet, dance with it.
If you must go to church, be prepared to … shout loudly, sleep soundly, walk out noisily, join in heartily with the sermon .
There's no such thing as bad beer, only good beer and better beer.
On the subject of one liners, it's not whether you should, it's whether your are brave enough.
Please do not confuse holy joes members with people who give a shit.
We avoid clichés like the plague and we don't like conclusions, with the possible exception of … Stand up if you hate Man U.
Courtesy of: www.holyjoes.com
source: http://johns-jokes.com
Holy Joes Desiderata
one tuesday evening in september 2001 we read the orginal, then we read and giggled at a version written by Billy Connolly ... together we made up our own ... this is wot we wrote ....
Never use the words "I disagree" when what you really mean is bollocks!
Trust not any explanation that begins or ends with the word "obviously"
Disruptiveness is next to Godliness
Be respectful of all opinions, unless they're wrong, obviously
Keep your drunkenness in direct proportion to the pointlessness of the speaker
Suggest a theme for Holy Joes evening. Then ensure your absence when it occurs.
But most of all be yourself.
Never underestimate the amount of alcohol needed to facilitate intelligent conversation and go to the bar whenever you feel like it.
However nice it is inside your head try and live in the world some of the time.
If you are going to ask a question, be prepared to accept the worst possible answer.
Take a cardigan, an umbrella and a hankie, carry a toothbrush and always know where your towel is.
Split up troublemakers for their own benefit and your peace of mind.
Know the difference between product and packaging.
Give up your seat on the bus, smile at people for no reason & thank people who are just doing their job.
Always look before crossing the road and kissing people.
Never risk anything you aren't prepared to lose.
Take off your rose tinted specs, but always keep them close at hand.
Have an open mind, but not so open that everything falls out.
Keep it real.
Don't try to be better than anyone else, try to be better than what you were.
Don't order the same curry every time you go down the Indian.
If you've got a skeleton in the closet, dance with it.
If you must go to church, be prepared to … shout loudly, sleep soundly, walk out noisily, join in heartily with the sermon .
There's no such thing as bad beer, only good beer and better beer.
On the subject of one liners, it's not whether you should, it's whether your are brave enough.
Please do not confuse holy joes members with people who give a shit.
We avoid clichés like the plague and we don't like conclusions, with the possible exception of … Stand up if you hate Man U.
Courtesy of: www.holyjoes.com
source: http://johns-jokes.com
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We do not tell Dirty, offensive and rude jokes but you can! 'even good for adults and youngsters suffering Acne :)
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Find free jokes including Sex Joke of the Day, Sexist Blonde Jokes and crazy stand-up comedy jokes and Little Johnny all at Johns-Jokes.com.
Humor to bust a gut with our funny, Obama, Yo Mama, Redneck, lawyer, animal, sports, relationship jokes which are all funny, clean or some that are dirty and a bit close to the mark!
Carlos Ray Chuck Norris, Paddy the Irishman jokes and more hilarious laughter all found at Johns- Jokes.com
Funny faces, pictures, animal images, for yourself and friends, to smile and laugh at them all! Ideal for folks without Life Insurance!
We do not tell Dirty, offensive and rude jokes but you can! 'even good for adults and youngsters suffering Acne :)
Our Comedy Sketches, Knock Knock jokes make for hilarious laughter, Wicked wit, short stories, crazy quotes, and strive to have a broad range and nothing too dirty!