Friday 20th of February 2009
I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.
....I had amnesia once -- or twice.
....I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart. Now what?
...Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.
...All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
..If the world was a logical place, men would be the ones who ride horses sidesaddle.
...What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?
...They told me I was gullible... and I believed them.
...Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to merge his car onto the freeway.
...Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.
...One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.
...My weight is perfect for my height -- which varies.
...I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
...The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.
...If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?
...Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants off.
...Is it my imagination, or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?
source: http://johns-jokes.com
Idle thoughts if a retiree;s mind
I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.
....I had amnesia once -- or twice.
....I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart. Now what?
...Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.
...All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
..If the world was a logical place, men would be the ones who ride horses sidesaddle.
...What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?
...They told me I was gullible... and I believed them.
...Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to merge his car onto the freeway.
...Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.
...One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.
...My weight is perfect for my height -- which varies.
...I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
...The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.
...If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?
...Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants off.
...Is it my imagination, or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?
source: http://johns-jokes.com
Remember those school field trips and farm sounds
Say NO to Cadburys merging with Nestle
Safety at work Tower scaffolding
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Find free jokes including Sex Joke of the Day, Sexist Blonde Jokes and crazy stand-up comedy jokes and Little Johnny all at Johns-Jokes.com.
Humor to bust a gut with our funny, Obama, Yo Mama, Redneck, lawyer, animal, sports, relationship jokes which are all funny, clean or some that are dirty and a bit close to the mark!
Carlos Ray Chuck Norris, Paddy the Irishman jokes and more hilarious laughter all found at Johns- Jokes.com
Funny faces, pictures, animal images, for yourself and friends, to smile and laugh at them all! Ideal for folks without Life Insurance!
We do not tell Dirty, offensive and rude jokes but you can! 'even good for adults and youngsters suffering Acne :)
Our Comedy Sketches, Knock Knock jokes make for hilarious laughter, Wicked wit, short stories, crazy quotes, and strive to have a broad range and nothing too dirty!