Lobster and the Crab Are in Love

Once upon a time a humble crab fell in love with Princess Lobster and she with him. They enjoyed an idyllic relationship, but one day Princess Lobster came to Crab in floods of tears saying that King Lobster would not let her see Crab any more.

'But why?' gasped the humble crab.

'Daddy says that crabs are too common,' sobbed the princess. 'You're a lower class of crustacean, and anyway, you walk sideways.'

Crab was shattered and scuttled away to drink himself into forgetfulness.
That night was the occasion of the great Lobster Ball and lobsters came from far and near for feasting and merrymaking. Princess Lobster, however, sat by her father's side inconsolable.

Suddenly, the doors flew open. It was the humble crab. Slowly, painstakingly, he made his way to the throne - walking dead straight, one claw after another. A silence gathered around the room. All the lobsters' eyes fell on the intruder.

Step by painful straight step he approached until he looked King Lobster in the eye. There was a deadly hush. Finally Crab spoke up:

'F***, I'm pissed!'

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treat John to a coffee

...and maybe a sticky bun :)