Wednesday 9th of November 2005
Nothing improves with age.
No matter how many times you've had it, if it's offered take it, because it'll never be quite the same again.
Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.
Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.
When the lights are out, all women are beautiful.
There may be some things better than sex, and some things worse than sex. But there is nothing exactly like it.
Do it only with the best.
Sex is a three-letter word which needs some old-fashioned four-letter words to convey its full meaning.
One good turn gets most of the blankets.
The person who said that it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all...NEVER loved and lost!
Never lie down with a woman who's got more troubles than you.
It is better to be looked over than overlooked.
Never say no.
A man can be happy with any woman as long as he doesn't love her.
Beauty is skin deep; ugly goes right to the bone.
A man is only a man, but a good bicycle is a ride.
Never go to bed mad, stay up and fight.
Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
"This won't hurt, I promise."
It's always easier to get a lady if you already have one.
It doesn't matter HOW good it was, if you end up worrying or regretting it, it was bad sex
Never trust a woman who acts like you are so sexy she can't help herself but drag you to bed
source: http://johns-jokes.com
Murphy's notable quotes:
Nothing improves with age.
No matter how many times you've had it, if it's offered take it, because it'll never be quite the same again.
Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.
Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.
When the lights are out, all women are beautiful.
There may be some things better than sex, and some things worse than sex. But there is nothing exactly like it.
Do it only with the best.
Sex is a three-letter word which needs some old-fashioned four-letter words to convey its full meaning.
One good turn gets most of the blankets.
The person who said that it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all...NEVER loved and lost!
Never lie down with a woman who's got more troubles than you.
It is better to be looked over than overlooked.
Never say no.
A man can be happy with any woman as long as he doesn't love her.
Beauty is skin deep; ugly goes right to the bone.
A man is only a man, but a good bicycle is a ride.
Never go to bed mad, stay up and fight.
Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
"This won't hurt, I promise."
It's always easier to get a lady if you already have one.
It doesn't matter HOW good it was, if you end up worrying or regretting it, it was bad sex
Never trust a woman who acts like you are so sexy she can't help herself but drag you to bed
source: http://johns-jokes.com
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Find free jokes including Sex Joke of the Day, Sexist Blonde Jokes and crazy stand-up comedy jokes and Little Johnny all at Johns-Jokes.com.
Humor to bust a gut with our funny, Obama, Yo Mama, Redneck, lawyer, animal, sports, relationship jokes which are all funny, clean or some that are dirty and a bit close to the mark!
Carlos Ray Chuck Norris, Paddy the Irishman jokes and more hilarious laughter all found at Johns- Jokes.com
Funny faces, pictures, animal images, for yourself and friends, to smile and laugh at them all! Ideal for folks without Life Insurance!
We do not tell Dirty, offensive and rude jokes but you can! 'even good for adults and youngsters suffering Acne :)
Our Comedy Sketches, Knock Knock jokes make for hilarious laughter, Wicked wit, short stories, crazy quotes, and strive to have a broad range and nothing too dirty!