Monday 21st of April 2008

Perfect Puns

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall - and a pretty good spring and summer, too.
JA - Houston

I knew I had gone too far when I cheated the convicted gem smuggler. I had crossed the ruby con.
SGT Snorkel - Iowa

Just in time for Thanksgiving a blockbuster movie about sweet potatoes, 'The Silence of the Yams'.
dr. dirt - Alaska

When the lumberjack accidentally let his chainsaw slip he quickly became lacked toes intolerant.
JA - Houston

Even though Ashley was blind and under arrest, she still had hope that someone would brail her out.
Ashleyisbeautiful - Oilertown

How do farmers make crop circles? With a protractor.

I'll never forget that rainstorm near Los Angeles and how the rain came down in Torrance.
JA - Houston

When thunderstorms felt that they weren't getting paid enough, they went on a lightning strike.
The Punisher - Dallas, TX

Where do peas have their sight tested? In an iPod.
Ross Wagman

A bee's dream is to someday live in Pollenisia.

Some resist having the 'flu jab but it's quite innocuous.
Anna - Sheffield, UK

I wanted to be a clarinettist but I couldn't reed music.
SGT Snorkel - Iowa

My first job was peddling designer clothing. I was a Dior to Dior salesman.
SGT Snorkel - Iowa

You don't know anything at all about ancient Egypt? Tut, tut, tut.
Ayam

I once considered becoming a monk when I was young but I was cloisterphobic.
Guid - Minden, NV

They say curiosity killed the cat, and they weren't kitten.
Vinny Rampone

The Biomedical Engineer didn't have the heart to check the EKG machine.
Yehuda Hamer

She didn't like her masseuse, she rubbed her the wrong way.
Nicole - Chicago, IL

Smartly dressed poultry would be called chic hens.
SGT Snorkel - Iowa

Pompous male bees are often known to drone on about themselves.



Even more puns: can be seen here
source: http://johns-jokes.com