Saturday 20th of December 2008

Some funny marriage quotes

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
*David Bissonette*



When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
*Sacha Guitry*



After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just
can't face each other, but still they stay together.
*Hemant Joshi*



By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
*Socrates*



Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
*Dumas*



The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want **?
*Sigmund Freud*



I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
*Anonymous*



Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
*Henry Youngman*



I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.
*Sam Kinison*



There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."
*James Holt McGavran*



I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't."
*Patrick Murray*



Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming:
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
*Nash*



The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...
*Anonymous*



You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
*Henny Youngman*



My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
*Rodney Dangerfield*



A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
*Milton Berle*



Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.
*Anonymous*



A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine".
*Anonymous*



First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second Guy "You're lucky, mine's still alive".




Nicked from:
http://bangkok.craigslist.org/forums/?B=116189;forumID=1257;postAreaID=156
source: http://johns-jokes.com