Saturday 21st of May 2005
If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly.
Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices & strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.
The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car.
The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.
Diet tip:
Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll take the edge off your appetite and you'll eat less.
A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn't that handy?
If you can't eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can't eat all your chocolate, what's wrong with you?
If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.
Money talks. Chocolate sings.
Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger.
Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous?
Because no one wants to quit.
Put "eat chocolate" at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you'll get one thing done.
Chocolate is a health food.
Chocolate is derived from cacao beans.
Bean = vegetable.
Sugar is derived either from sugar beets or cane, both vegetables.
And, of course, the milk/cream is dairy.
So eat more chocolate to meet the dietary requirements for daily vegetable intake.
source: http://johns-jokes.com
The Rules of Chocolate.....
If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly.
Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices & strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.
The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car.
The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.
Diet tip:
Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll take the edge off your appetite and you'll eat less.
A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn't that handy?
If you can't eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can't eat all your chocolate, what's wrong with you?
If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.
Money talks. Chocolate sings.
Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger.
Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous?
Because no one wants to quit.
Put "eat chocolate" at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you'll get one thing done.
Chocolate is a health food.
Chocolate is derived from cacao beans.
Bean = vegetable.
Sugar is derived either from sugar beets or cane, both vegetables.
And, of course, the milk/cream is dairy.
So eat more chocolate to meet the dietary requirements for daily vegetable intake.
source: http://johns-jokes.com
Billy Connollys Desiderata........ excerpt from his book
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Find free jokes including Sex Joke of the Day, Sexist Blonde Jokes and crazy stand-up comedy jokes and Little Johnny all at Johns-Jokes.com.
Humor to bust a gut with our funny, Obama, Yo Mama, Redneck, lawyer, animal, sports, relationship jokes which are all funny, clean or some that are dirty and a bit close to the mark!
Carlos Ray Chuck Norris, Paddy the Irishman jokes and more hilarious laughter all found at Johns- Jokes.com
Funny faces, pictures, animal images, for yourself and friends, to smile and laugh at them all! Ideal for folks without Life Insurance!
We do not tell Dirty, offensive and rude jokes but you can! 'even good for adults and youngsters suffering Acne :)
Our Comedy Sketches, Knock Knock jokes make for hilarious laughter, Wicked wit, short stories, crazy quotes, and strive to have a broad range and nothing too dirty!