Wednesday 6th of July 2005
The budding actor's agent finally gets him a part. It is only one line, 'Hark I hear a cannon!', but it's the part that could launch his career.
He practices the line over and over again for days before the performance. He can't mess this up - his career could depend on this. He tells his parents and all his friends he has a part in a brand new production and gets them all to come to the opening night.
Finally the day arrives. He arrives at the theater and the security guard at the actors' entrance asks who he is. He boasts proudly "I'm the guy who says 'Hark I hear a cannon!'". To everyone who asks, he grins and says "I'm the guy who says 'Hark, I head a cannon!'" - the makeup crew, the electricians, the set designers, the costume designers, everyone - "I'm the guy who says 'Hark I hear a cannon!'".
The call comes to him to go stage-side and wait for his cue. He stands there repeating his one line over and over again, 'Hark, I hear a cannon!'.
Eventually he gets his cue to go on stage.
Suddenly he hears a loud BANG.
"What the fuck was that?!"
source: http://johns-jokes.com
The budding actor
The budding actor's agent finally gets him a part. It is only one line, 'Hark I hear a cannon!', but it's the part that could launch his career.
He practices the line over and over again for days before the performance. He can't mess this up - his career could depend on this. He tells his parents and all his friends he has a part in a brand new production and gets them all to come to the opening night.
Finally the day arrives. He arrives at the theater and the security guard at the actors' entrance asks who he is. He boasts proudly "I'm the guy who says 'Hark I hear a cannon!'". To everyone who asks, he grins and says "I'm the guy who says 'Hark, I head a cannon!'" - the makeup crew, the electricians, the set designers, the costume designers, everyone - "I'm the guy who says 'Hark I hear a cannon!'".
The call comes to him to go stage-side and wait for his cue. He stands there repeating his one line over and over again, 'Hark, I hear a cannon!'.
Eventually he gets his cue to go on stage.
Suddenly he hears a loud BANG.
"What the fuck was that?!"
source: http://johns-jokes.com
Billy Connollys Desiderata........ excerpt from his book
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Find free jokes including Sex Joke of the Day, Sexist Blonde Jokes and crazy stand-up comedy jokes and Little Johnny all at Johns-Jokes.com.
Humor to bust a gut with our funny, Obama, Yo Mama, Redneck, lawyer, animal, sports, relationship jokes which are all funny, clean or some that are dirty and a bit close to the mark!
Carlos Ray Chuck Norris, Paddy the Irishman jokes and more hilarious laughter all found at Johns- Jokes.com
Funny faces, pictures, animal images, for yourself and friends, to smile and laugh at them all! Ideal for folks without Life Insurance!
We do not tell Dirty, offensive and rude jokes but you can! 'even good for adults and youngsters suffering Acne :)
Our Comedy Sketches, Knock Knock jokes make for hilarious laughter, Wicked wit, short stories, crazy quotes, and strive to have a broad range and nothing too dirty!