Thursday 2nd of June 2005
A man was placed in intensive care, needles stuck everywhere, tubes running over his disease-ridden body like a spider's web, nearly comatose. A week later, a second man was put in the same room in very nearly the same condition.
Both men lay there, near death, machines pinging, oxygen tubes puffing, monitors ding-donging, lights flashing. After a few days, one of the men summoned the strength to weakly raise his hand and catch the other man's attention. He pointed to himself and wheezed out, "Jim...........my."
The other man weakly pointed to himself and said, "Paddy."
This act tired them both out so badly it was another day or two before they had the strength to try again. The first man weakly pointed to himself and murmured in almost inaudible tones, "Scottish."
The second man replied, "Irish."
Again the fatigue set in and they both fell fast asleep. In another couple of days they were at it again.
Jim took several deep breaths, then summoned up the strength to cough out, "Glasgow."
Paddy whispered back, "Dublin."
This time they were both a little stronger and could continue.
"Cancer", said Jim.
"...Sagittarius," replied Paddy.
source: http://johns-jokes.com
The intensive care patients
A man was placed in intensive care, needles stuck everywhere, tubes running over his disease-ridden body like a spider's web, nearly comatose. A week later, a second man was put in the same room in very nearly the same condition.
Both men lay there, near death, machines pinging, oxygen tubes puffing, monitors ding-donging, lights flashing. After a few days, one of the men summoned the strength to weakly raise his hand and catch the other man's attention. He pointed to himself and wheezed out, "Jim...........my."
The other man weakly pointed to himself and said, "Paddy."
This act tired them both out so badly it was another day or two before they had the strength to try again. The first man weakly pointed to himself and murmured in almost inaudible tones, "Scottish."
The second man replied, "Irish."
Again the fatigue set in and they both fell fast asleep. In another couple of days they were at it again.
Jim took several deep breaths, then summoned up the strength to cough out, "Glasgow."
Paddy whispered back, "Dublin."
This time they were both a little stronger and could continue.
"Cancer", said Jim.
"...Sagittarius," replied Paddy.
source: http://johns-jokes.com
Billy Connollys Desiderata........ excerpt from his book
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Find free jokes including Sex Joke of the Day, Sexist Blonde Jokes and crazy stand-up comedy jokes and Little Johnny all at Johns-Jokes.com.
Humor to bust a gut with our funny, Obama, Yo Mama, Redneck, lawyer, animal, sports, relationship jokes which are all funny, clean or some that are dirty and a bit close to the mark!
Carlos Ray Chuck Norris, Paddy the Irishman jokes and more hilarious laughter all found at Johns- Jokes.com
Funny faces, pictures, animal images, for yourself and friends, to smile and laugh at them all! Ideal for folks without Life Insurance!
We do not tell Dirty, offensive and rude jokes but you can! 'even good for adults and youngsters suffering Acne :)
Our Comedy Sketches, Knock Knock jokes make for hilarious laughter, Wicked wit, short stories, crazy quotes, and strive to have a broad range and nothing too dirty!