Tuesday 8th of September 2009
Five ways to allow others to benefit from your iPhone
YOU: Sure.
Then you whip out your iPhone, hold it up high, waving it around so everyone can see its impressive clock function.
YOU: Anyone else need to know the time’!!! Because I HAVE AN iPHONE!!!
You are on a date in a restaurant. A man is having a heart attack!
YOU: Coming through! I’ll take care of it! I’m an iPhone owner!
Then you simultaneously call emergency services while accessing Wikipedia instructions on how to perform CPR. To keep the man’s wife from panicking, you calm her down by showing her amusing videos of cats wearing silly hats.
DOCTOR: This iPhone owner is a hero! Without his amazing access to information and amusing videos of cats wearing silly hats, we’d have a dead man and a nervous wife. Instead, this couple will live happily ever after. Thank you iPhone Owner!
YOU: Oh, I was just doing what any super cool iPhone owner would do.
Why wear your iPhone on your waist when you can attach it to a headband and wear it on your forehead?
At the bar, a guy asks you if the local sports team won today.
YOU: Hold on, I’ll check that out for you on my brand new amazing iPhone... Sorry, for the delay, I just got my amazing iPhone and I’m still trying to learn all of the amazing iPhone iFeatures... where is News... Music... Videos... Email... Phone... Cr’me Brulee recipes... Time Machine... darn this amazing iPhone!
WOMAN: A man is holding up the Convenience Store owner with a gun!
YOU: No worries ma'am, I am an iPhone owner. I'll simply call 9-1-1... now I'll walk into the store... and take the perpetrator's photo. And... email it to the police.
ROBBER: Stick 'em up or I'll blow you away!
YOU: I own an iPhone.
ROBBER: Really? Wow!
YOU: I know. iPhone says you are suffering from feelings of inadequacy caused by your father's constant belittling of you as a child.
ROBBER: iPhone is right!
YOU: iPhone says there is a support group for your issue approximately 2.9 miles southwest of here.
ROBBER (wiping away tears): Thank you, iPhone owner.
YOU: Of course.
ROBBER: Now I'm going to shoot you and take your iPhone!
YOU: I'm sorry, but I'm going to zap you with 50,000 volts.
ROBBER: Aaaaaaaaaaah!!!
YOU: The iPhone has a hidden stun-gun feature.
CONVENIENCE STORE OWNER: Thank you, my friend!
YOU: It's my privilege to serve the community. While waiting for the police to arrive, would you like to listen to some U2?
.
source: http://johns-jokes.com
iPhone Jokes
Five ways to allow others to benefit from your iPhone
One: A man on the street asks you if you have the time.
YOU: Sure.
Then you whip out your iPhone, hold it up high, waving it around so everyone can see its impressive clock function.
YOU: Anyone else need to know the time’!!! Because I HAVE AN iPHONE!!!
Two: Use your iPhone to save a life
You are on a date in a restaurant. A man is having a heart attack!
YOU: Coming through! I’ll take care of it! I’m an iPhone owner!
Then you simultaneously call emergency services while accessing Wikipedia instructions on how to perform CPR. To keep the man’s wife from panicking, you calm her down by showing her amusing videos of cats wearing silly hats.
DOCTOR: This iPhone owner is a hero! Without his amazing access to information and amusing videos of cats wearing silly hats, we’d have a dead man and a nervous wife. Instead, this couple will live happily ever after. Thank you iPhone Owner!
YOU: Oh, I was just doing what any super cool iPhone owner would do.
Three: Use your iPhone as it was meant to be used... as fashion
Why wear your iPhone on your waist when you can attach it to a headband and wear it on your forehead?
Four: Share your iPhone's information
At the bar, a guy asks you if the local sports team won today.
YOU: Hold on, I’ll check that out for you on my brand new amazing iPhone... Sorry, for the delay, I just got my amazing iPhone and I’m still trying to learn all of the amazing iPhone iFeatures... where is News... Music... Videos... Email... Phone... Cr’me Brulee recipes... Time Machine... darn this amazing iPhone!
Five: Use your iPhone to fight crime
WOMAN: A man is holding up the Convenience Store owner with a gun!
YOU: No worries ma'am, I am an iPhone owner. I'll simply call 9-1-1... now I'll walk into the store... and take the perpetrator's photo. And... email it to the police.
ROBBER: Stick 'em up or I'll blow you away!
YOU: I own an iPhone.
ROBBER: Really? Wow!
YOU: I know. iPhone says you are suffering from feelings of inadequacy caused by your father's constant belittling of you as a child.
ROBBER: iPhone is right!
YOU: iPhone says there is a support group for your issue approximately 2.9 miles southwest of here.
ROBBER (wiping away tears): Thank you, iPhone owner.
YOU: Of course.
ROBBER: Now I'm going to shoot you and take your iPhone!
YOU: I'm sorry, but I'm going to zap you with 50,000 volts.
ROBBER: Aaaaaaaaaaah!!!
YOU: The iPhone has a hidden stun-gun feature.
CONVENIENCE STORE OWNER: Thank you, my friend!
YOU: It's my privilege to serve the community. While waiting for the police to arrive, would you like to listen to some U2?
.
source: http://johns-jokes.com
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Find free jokes including Sex Joke of the Day, Sexist Blonde Jokes and crazy stand-up comedy jokes and Little Johnny all at Johns-Jokes.com.
Humor to bust a gut with our funny, Obama, Yo Mama, Redneck, lawyer, animal, sports, relationship jokes which are all funny, clean or some that are dirty and a bit close to the mark!
Carlos Ray Chuck Norris, Paddy the Irishman jokes and more hilarious laughter all found at Johns- Jokes.com
Funny faces, pictures, animal images, for yourself and friends, to smile and laugh at them all! Ideal for folks without Life Insurance!
We do not tell Dirty, offensive and rude jokes but you can! 'even good for adults and youngsters suffering Acne :)
Our Comedy Sketches, Knock Knock jokes make for hilarious laughter, Wicked wit, short stories, crazy quotes, and strive to have a broad range and nothing too dirty!