John’s Jokes

Joke of the week: Name on birth certficate from: jlo
blog

All the JokesOver a 1,000 Jokes, displayed on one page so easy to view the jokes. Take your time and have a chuckle or even a good belly laugh
iPhone and iPadsiPhone and iPad jokes, some with pictures about the latest Apple products, features and problems. Also cartoon pictures of Steve Jobs and Bill Gates
Funny PicturesFunny pictures and Jokes with pictures, some sexy, some funny and some hilarious.
Top 10 JokesThe last ten jokes posted, some top ten short jokes, all funny jokes, mostly short jokes, every one a top joke, not too dirty of the top ten dirty jokes, the very best jokes, latest top 10 jokes of all time and not forgetting the top ten one liner jokes.
Sex JokesSex jokes have been criticized as sexist by several authors, as most blondes in these jokes are female, although male variations also exist. Research indicates that because of this, men find blonde jokes significantly more amusing than women say they do.
Blonde JokesBlonde jokes have been criticized as sexist by several authors, as most blondes in these jokes are female, although male variations also exist. Research indicates that because of this, men find blonde jokes significantly more amusing than women say they do.
Chuck Norris Jokes Carlos Ray "Chuck" Norris (born March 10, 1940) is an American martial artist, actor and media personality. After serving in the United States Air Force, he began his rise to fame as a martial artist and has since founded his own school, Chun Kuk Do. As a result of his film career as a "tough guy" image, an Internet phenomenon began in 2005 known as Chuck Norris facts, ascribing various implausible feats of strength to Norris.
Little Johnny JokesLittle Johnny jokes are about a small boy who likes to ask embarrassing questions and has a very straightforward thinking. At times he is well educated in the terminology of sex (then he is known as (Little) dirty Johnny), while at others he is all too innocent. He also has a cousin Dirty Ernie.
Health & Safety PicturesPictures about Health & Safety at Work & Play, some funny, some hilarious, just enjoy.
Favourite JokesA list of the most popular and favourite jokes selected from our log files. The list is frequently reviewed and changes updated
Top 20 JokesThe last twenty jokes posted, some top twenty short jokes, all funny jokes, mostly short jokes, every one a top joke, not too dirty of the top twenty dirty jokes, the very best jokes, latest top twenty jokes of all time and not forgetting the top twenty one liner jokes.
Wisdom TalesSome famous words of wisdom, wise quotes, funny quotations, definitions, anecdotes, tales and thought provoking short stories.
QuotationsSelected quote from famous and some infamous authors
Ask Eliza Some people think that chatting with this computerized psychiatrist is even better than the real thing. Just remember, Eliza is not smart enough to ask for an hourly rate. So, don’t take what she says too seriously.
Bizarre SearchesBizarre searches which have led people to Johns-Jokes.com
Swap the frogsCan you switch the frogs to the opposite side stones within 2 minutes? (cunning Chinese 2nd grade computer test :)

Google Translate

A penny for your thoughts

A young Scottish lad and lassie were sitting on a low stonewall, holding hands, and just gazing out over the loch.

For several minutes they sat silently, then finally the girl looked at the boy and said, "A penny for your thoughts, Angus."

"Well, uh, I was thinkin' perhaps it's aboot time for a wee kiss."

The girl blushed, then leaned over and kissed him. Then he blushed. Then the two turned once again to gaze out over the loch.

After a while the girl spoke again. "Another penny for your thoughts, Angus."

"Well, uh, I was thinkin' perhaps its aboot time for a wee cuddle."

The girl blushed, then leaned over and cuddled him. Then he blushed. Then the two turned once again to gaze out over the loch.

After a while the girl spoke again. "Another penny for your thoughts, Angus."

"Well, uh, I was thinkin' perhaps its aboot time you let me poot me hand on your leg."

The girl blushed, then took his hand and put it on her leg. Then he blushed. Then the two turned once again to gaze out over the loch.

After a while the girl spoke again. "Another penny for your thoughts, Angus."

The young man knit his brow. "Well, now," he said, "my thoughts are a bit more serious this time."

"Really?" said the girl in a whisper, filled with anticipation.

"Aye," said the lad.

The girl looked away in shyness, began to blush and bit her lip in anticipation of the ultimate request.

Angus blurted out, "Din'na ye think it's aboot time ye paid me the first three pennies?"

Comment or add joke

Your 'Joke of the day' Mission:

Search the joke bank and find the funniest joke! Learn How to Be Funny!

Our joke of the day joke bank contains funny jokes, one liner jokes, short jokes, racist jokes, pick up lines, clean jokes, one line jokes, kid jokes, short funny jokes, funny clean jokes, short jokes, black jokes, yo momma jokes, funny quotes, funny kid jokes and funny games. There is a joke there for you my friendly comic!

The best humour reminds us that deep down we're all strange, puzzled creatures who don't really understand the world or how to behave. That kind of humour is warm and generous, it's inclusive. Of course you get other humour which is nasty and cruel, it's about sneering at little people. I think it's much braver to sneer at big people, don't you?
John Cleese

Now that you've had a good laugh...

...donate the price of a Starbucks'

to our thirsty support staff.

http://growwheatgrass.com/

...and some more

...now or was online :)

...today’s most popular

...visitors also liked

Time taken to load: 0.0684 secs