John’s Jokes

Joke of the week: Name on birth certficate from: jlo
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All the JokesOver a 1,000 Jokes, displayed on one page so easy to view the jokes. Take your time and have a chuckle or even a good belly laugh
iPhone and iPadsiPhone and iPad jokes, some with pictures about the latest Apple products, features and problems. Also cartoon pictures of Steve Jobs and Bill Gates
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Sex JokesSex jokes have been criticized as sexist by several authors, as most blondes in these jokes are female, although male variations also exist. Research indicates that because of this, men find blonde jokes significantly more amusing than women say they do.
Blonde JokesBlonde jokes have been criticized as sexist by several authors, as most blondes in these jokes are female, although male variations also exist. Research indicates that because of this, men find blonde jokes significantly more amusing than women say they do.
Chuck Norris Jokes Carlos Ray "Chuck" Norris (born March 10, 1940) is an American martial artist, actor and media personality. After serving in the United States Air Force, he began his rise to fame as a martial artist and has since founded his own school, Chun Kuk Do. As a result of his film career as a "tough guy" image, an Internet phenomenon began in 2005 known as Chuck Norris facts, ascribing various implausible feats of strength to Norris.
Little Johnny JokesLittle Johnny jokes are about a small boy who likes to ask embarrassing questions and has a very straightforward thinking. At times he is well educated in the terminology of sex (then he is known as (Little) dirty Johnny), while at others he is all too innocent. He also has a cousin Dirty Ernie.
Health & Safety PicturesPictures about Health & Safety at Work & Play, some funny, some hilarious, just enjoy.
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Top 20 JokesThe last twenty jokes posted, some top twenty short jokes, all funny jokes, mostly short jokes, every one a top joke, not too dirty of the top twenty dirty jokes, the very best jokes, latest top twenty jokes of all time and not forgetting the top twenty one liner jokes.
Wisdom TalesSome famous words of wisdom, wise quotes, funny quotations, definitions, anecdotes, tales and thought provoking short stories.
QuotationsSelected quote from famous and some infamous authors
Ask Eliza Some people think that chatting with this computerized psychiatrist is even better than the real thing. Just remember, Eliza is not smart enough to ask for an hourly rate. So, don’t take what she says too seriously.
Bizarre SearchesBizarre searches which have led people to Johns-Jokes.com
Swap the frogsCan you switch the frogs to the opposite side stones within 2 minutes? (cunning Chinese 2nd grade computer test :)

Offside rule explained to women

With the World Cup approaching, this could be very useful advice....

You're in a shoe shop, second in the queue for the till. Behind the shop assistant on the till is a pair of shoes which you have seen and which you must have.

The female shopper in front of you has seen them also & is eyeing them with desire. Both of you have forgotten your purses.

It would be totally rude to push in front of the first woman if you had no money to pay for the shoes. The shop assistant remains at the till waiting.

Your friend is trying on another pair of shoes at the back of the shop and sees your dilemma. She prepares to throw her purse to you. If she does so, you can catch the purse, then walk round the other shopper and buy the shoes!

At a pinch she could throw the purse ahead of the other shopper and, "whilst it is in flight" you could nip around the other shopper, catch the purse and buy the shoes!

BUT, you must always remember that until the purse has "actually been thrown", it would be plain wrong to be in front of the other shopper!

NOW DO YOU GET IT?!!

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Your 'Joke of the day' Mission:

Search the joke bank and find the funniest joke! Learn How to Be Funny!

Our joke of the day joke bank contains funny jokes, one liner jokes, short jokes, racist jokes, pick up lines, clean jokes, one line jokes, kid jokes, short funny jokes, funny clean jokes, short jokes, black jokes, yo momma jokes, funny quotes, funny kid jokes and funny games. There is a joke there for you my friendly comic!

The best humour reminds us that deep down we're all strange, puzzled creatures who don't really understand the world or how to behave. That kind of humour is warm and generous, it's inclusive. Of course you get other humour which is nasty and cruel, it's about sneering at little people. I think it's much braver to sneer at big people, don't you?
John Cleese

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