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Proof The World Is Nuts


In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death. (Like THAT makes sense.)

In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals, but is prohibited from looking directly at them during the examination. He may only see their reflection in a mirror. Do they look different reversed?)

The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation. (Much worse than "going blind!")

There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time .
Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry. (Let's just think about this one for a minute; is there any job anywhere else in the world that even comes close to this?)

In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands. The husband's illicit lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired. (Ah! Justice!)

Topless sales women are legal in Liverpool, England - but only in tropical fish stores. (But of course!)

In Cali, Colombia, a woman may only have sex with her husband, and the first time this happens, her mother must be in the room to witness the act
Makes one shudder at the thought.)

In Santa Cruz, Bolivia, it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time. I presume this was a big enough problem that they had to pass this law?

In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with One exception: Prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine only "in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises." ( Is this a great country or what? Well . . . not as great as Guam!)

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. (Who volunteers for this stuff?)

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (Is that why Flipper was always smiling?)

The ant can lift 50 times it's own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.(From drinking little bottles of . ?)

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

Starfish don't have brains.

And, the best for last...

Turtles can breathe through their butts .
(And I thought I had bad breath in the morning!)

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The best humour reminds us that deep down we're all strange, puzzled creatures who don't really understand the world or how to behave. That kind of humour is warm and generous, it's inclusive. Of course you get other humour which is nasty and cruel, it's about sneering at little people. I think it's much braver to sneer at big people, don't you?
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