John’s Jokes
Joke of the week:  Name on birth certficate   from: jlo  
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Some Wonderful Proverbs:


If the rich could hire other people to die for them, the poor could make a wonderful living.
Yiddish Proverb

The wise man, even when he holds his tongue, says more than the fool when he speaks.
Yiddish Proverb

What you don't see with your eyes, don't invent with your mouth.
Yiddish proverb

A hero is someone who can keep his mouth shut when he is right.
Yiddish Proverb

One old friend is better than two new ones.
Yiddish Proverb

One of life's greatest mysteries is how the boy who wasn't good enough to marry your daughter can be the father of the smartest grandchild in the world.
Jewish Proverb

Old friends, like old wines, don't lose their flavor.
Jewish Proverb

A wise man hears one word and understands two.
Yiddish Proverb

"Don't be so humble - you are not that great."
Golda Meir (1898-1978) to a visiting diplomat

Pessimism is a luxury that a Jew can never allow himself.
Golda Meir

Any intelligent fool can make things bigger and more complex. It takes a touch of genius - and a lot of ourage to move in the opposite direction.
Albert Einstein

Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving.
Albert Einstein

When his wife asked him to change clothes to meet the German Ambassador, he said "If they want to see me, here I am. If they want to see my clothes, open my closet and show them my suits."
Albert Einstein

Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.
Albert Einstein

The hardest thing in the world to understand is income tax.
Albert Einstein

You can't control the wind, but you can adjust your sails.
Yiddish proverb

I don't want to become immortal through my work. I want to become immortal through not dying.
Woody Allen

I'm not afraid of dying - I just don't want to be there when it happens!
Woody Allen

Imagination is more important than knowledge.
Sign hanging in Einstein's office at Princeton.

Not everything that counts can be counted, and not everything that can be counted counts
Albert Einstein

We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.
Albert Einstein

Education is what remains after one has forgotten everything he learned in school.
Albert Einstein

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.
Albert Einstein


 
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The best humour reminds us that deep down we're all strange, puzzled creatures who don't really understand the world or how to behave. That kind of humour is warm and generous, it's inclusive. Of course you get other humour which is nasty and cruel, it's about sneering at little people. I think it's much braver to sneer at big people, don't you?
John Cleese

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