Words of Wit and Wisdom



In just two days tomorrow will be yesterday. But I never saw either on the calendar

Always wanted to be a procrastinator, but never got around to it.

My friend has kleptomania, but when it gets bad, He takes something for it.

Never be afraid to try something new, remember amateurs built the ark - professionals built the Titanic.

Love is grand - divorce is a hundred grand.

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common, they should both be changed regularly and for the same reason.

One of life's mysteries - how can a two pound box of candy make a person gain five pounds.

Time may be a great healer, but it's also a lousy beautician.

Age doesn't always bring wisdom, sometimes age comes alone.

Life not only begins at forty, it begins to show.

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The best humour reminds us that deep down we're all strange, puzzled creatures who don't really understand the world or how to behave. That kind of humour is warm and generous, it's inclusive. Of course you get other humour which is nasty and cruel, it's about sneering at little people. I think it's much braver to sneer at big people, don't you?
John Cleese

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