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Two Questions From A Pub Quiz And Some Short Jokes

 

In a pub quiz the other day I lost by one point.

The losing question was where do women mostly have curly hair?

Apparently, it's Africa .




Another question was to name two things commonly found in cells.

It appears that Scousers and Pikeys is not the correct answer.




Another question was on different aircraft types.

What is the greaest advantage to a rotor-wing aircraft vs a fixed wing aircraft?

pub quiz on aircraft
Damn,....I guessed wrong!!





I've heard that Apple have scrapped their plans for the new childrens iPod after realising that iTouch Kids is not a good product name.



My wife told me I was no longer romantic so I booked a table for the two of us on Valentine's Night.

Problem was she's rubbish at snooker.




There's a new Muslim clothing shop opened in Camberley but I've been banned from it after asking to look at some bomber jackets.




You can say lots of bad things about paedophiles but at least they drive slowly past schools.




A mate of mine has just told me he's shagging his girlfriend and her twin.

I said "How can you tell them apart?"

He said "Her brother's got a moustache!"




A biker goes to the doctor with hearing problems.

"Can you describe the symptoms to me?" asked the doctor.

"Yes. Homer is a fat yellow lazy bastard and Marge is a skinny bird with big blue hair."



How many vietnam war veterans does it take to change a light bulb?

You don't know man, you weren't there!



Contributions from: Howard and Joolz

This can save your bacon
¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Quotes for Today:

Tact is for people who aren't witty enough to be sarcastic.
 


Take my hand and walk along with me, not ahead of me; otherwise I may not follow you.
Anonymous  


Taoism: shit happens
Buddhism: if shit happens, it isn't really shit
Islam: if shit happens, it is the will of Allah
Catholicism: if shit happens, you deserve it
Judaism: why does this shit always happen to us?
Atheism: I don't believe this shit

 


The idea is to die young as late as possible

Don't worry about old age, it doesn't last that long.

Every now and then I throw in one of those typos to see who's paying attention :-)

Give me the grace to see a joke, to get some humor out of life and smiling it on to other folk.

Have a great Day and Laugh, "Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many".

We try to bust a gut with our funny, Yo Mama, Redneck, lawyer, animal, relationship and crap jokes.

You only live once!   So make sure you spend 15 hours on the internet everyday, seeking validation from strangers.

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