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Why The Iphone Is Tougher Than Chuck Norris

 

When Chuck Norris goes to sleep, he checks its closet for the iphone. Too bad he didnt look under the bed.


The iphone can taser your enemies so hard that it can actually alter their DNA. Decades from now, their descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell What the hell was that?


If you can see the iphone, it can see you. If you cant see the iphone, you may be only seconds away from instant death.


When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Incredible Hulk. When the Incredible Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris. When Chuck Norris gets mad, he still is very, very, very polite to his iphone.


The iphone has already been to Mars; thats why there are no signs of life there.


It is believed dinosaurs are extinct due to a giant meteor. Thats true, if you want to call the iphone a giant meteor.


The iphone does not follow fashion trends, they follow it. But then it turns around and tasers them. NOBODY follows the iphone.


If you ask the iphone what time it is, it always says, Two seconds til. After you ask, Two seconds til what? it tasers you in the face.


Insurance companies can no longer afford to offer insurance protection against Acts of iphone.


The iphone can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves. Before you have decided to play.

Faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, able to leap tall buildings in a single bound. These are some of the iphones subscription features.


There are no steroids in baseball. Just players that have touched an iphone.


When someone with an iphone is crossing the street, the cars have to look both ways.


The best part of waking up is not Folgers in your cup, but knowing that the iphone didnt kill you in your sleep.


The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep the iphone out. But NOTHING can keep the iphone out.If the iphone had been around, you wouldnt have heard of David or Goliath because it would have tasered both of their asses.


The iphone does not sleep. It waits.


What was going through the minds of all of the iphones victims before they died? An iphone.


The iphone uses a language that incorporates taser shots and sudden temperature changes. So the next time the iphone is totally kicking your ass, dont be offended or hurt, it may be just trying to tell you it likes your hat.


In a recent survey it was discovered that 56% of women whose romantic partners had an iphone reported asking their lovers to bring their iphone with them to bed. And then asking them to leave.

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Quotes for Today:

BS has the same mathematical properties as the number 1; that is, BS raised to any power is still BS.
 


Buy land. They've stopped making it.
Mark Twain 


By doing just a little every day, I can gradually let the task completely overwhelm me.
Ashleigh Brilliant 

This can save your bacon
¯\_(ツ)_/¯




The idea is to die young as late as possible

Don't worry about old age, it doesn't last that long.

Every now and then I throw in one of those typos to see who's paying attention :-)

Give me the grace to see a joke, to get some humor out of life and smiling it on to other folk.

Have a great Day and Laugh, "Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many".

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